The Waiting. The build up the countdown. . .

Anticipation is a turn on for me.
"Wait for it,"  He says.
"Don't cum yet"
As tensions rise. 
As my arousal grows. 
As my pussy tightens. 
As my cunt clenches.
Being told 
"don't cum. Wait for it. Not yet."
Forces me to focus on the now.

To focus on Master. 
To not lose myself in the moment or 
The extreme pleasure coursing through my body.
I love anticipation because I am not patient at all.
That sweet edge of release soo close. 
I can feel it. 
I don't try to lose myself in unsexy thoughts
I revel in pleasure.

I drink in the smallest details of the moment. 
Laser focus. 
He fills me. 
Sliding in and out. 
Stretching me. 
Pounding me.

He whispers in my ear. 
Now. Cum now for me. 

Deep hard thrusts. 
Pounding into me. 
Stretching me. 
My orgasm racks my body. 
My pussy clenching down on his cock. 

Trying to trap him in my pussy.  
To stop the motion for a moment 
To savor the sensation. 
He is relentless. 
Just taking what I give. 

Cumming deep inside me. 
Sending me over the brink one more time. 
I love being taken roughly. 
I need that control. 
I want him to own my pussy.
I need him to control my pleasure. 



Whether you know it or not, 
my nights
belong to you.
I no longer sleep
my nights are full of dreams 
of all the ways to please you
do not be too surprised 
if you wake up constantly 

wanting. . . 

because my nights bleed 

with my wanting of you


Wandering Hands

I'm trying to sleep it eludes me. 

I am thinking of being used taken. I fantasize about your strong hands grasping my hips pulling me back towards you. My head down ass up my hands restrained in front of me.

These are the thoughts that swirl in my mind as I try to sleep. So erotic my hands wander. I end up cupping my breast playing with my nipples pulling on them, twisting them,  back and forth squeezing them. Your hands that's what I'm fantasizing about. 

I can feel your hand coasting up my back touching my shoulders running your hands into my hair making a fist slightly pulling on my hair as the other hand coasts down my back cupping my ass and you spank me one really hard SWAT that catches me by surprise. My breath catches and then make a little moan.

The thought of that my hands glides down my side over my hip into my bikini line. I'm naked in bed. my eyes closed fantasizing.
Thinking about that spank I moan and bite my lower lip.  my right-hand spreads my pussy lips not touching my clit but teasing around it heightening my own arousal. 

You lean over me, telling me "I can feel how wet you are in fact I can see how wet you. do you want something? Is there something you need?" I moan saying "yes Master I want you I need you, Master."  

My fingers find the entrance to my sweet tight pussy sliding two fingers in. I feel how wet I am. This fantasy of your touch arousing me making me want to come. I spread my pussy lips with my fingers stretching that little hole.  Slowly start to finger fuck myself. My fingers curled rubbing the top of my cunt searching for that sweet spot,  my thumb on my clit my other hand cupping my breast. 

You take me as you want your fingers inside me slowly fucking that tight pussy so hot.  my ass winks at you. That tight little pink rosebud nestled right above my wet dripping pussy.
The next thing I know I feel cool lubrication touching my little rosebud then something slip into me.  It's my slim vibrator pushed right past that sphincter. God it feels so good. You turn it on it's buzzing me lightly. You continue fucking me with your fingers making my pussy messy and wet for you. 

I can't take it anymore fantasizing about you like this fingering my cunt.  I need something deep inside me. Something fucking me.  I reach for my toy the one that's shaped like your cock.  God that first kiss of cock. My pussy kissing the tip. Opening for you sliding it in slow and deep.  Practically coming right there but maintaining that high arousal. 

You pull your fingers out of my wet tight cunt. my ass buzzing away my head down on the pillow moaning my tits pressed against the pillow and bed I feel your heat behind me.  I feel you straddling me. I feel that thick cock sliding in deep and fast. No slow gentle moves here.  Just taking what I freely give

Thoughts of you just taking me as I'm bent over my ass buzzing with a toy.  I'm literally your fuck toy you use me, take me.  It blurs the line as I thrust my toy in and out of that wet sloppy pussy moaning and grasping the toy thinking about your cock, your hands, on me. Your body pressed against mine. Racing towards that cliff. Faster and faster I fuck myself. I feel it's so close so close... fuck! I'm coming all over my toy my hands. oh God, so wet fuck.  I can't move the toy my pussy grasping and clenching down. 

Watching me as I cum. You keep tunneling through that tight clenching pussy makes me come even harder. 

All of those tense muscles relaxed.  feeling myself drifting satisfied my pussy pulsing a smile on my lips.  Pulling the toy out of that wet sloppy cunt I clean it just as I would clean your cock.  I put my toy away on my side table. I roll to my side grabbing my stuffie closing my eyes. A smile on my lips wetness still between my legs I know I'm sleeping in a puddle right now.  I'll do my sheets in the morning "thank you Master"

as I drift off to sleep.


Intense Flavors

I crave intense flavors.
I love Dark Chocolate.
I prefer Red Wines.
I drink Whiskey Neat.
I like dark flavors.

I need intensity.
Deep Sexual Connections.
Thoughtful Conversations.
Incredibly Silly Moments.

There is something so satisfying about those things to me.

Being intense and in the moment with someone.

There are moments for subtle and soft.
but there is so much more joy

in being used.
in being taken.
in being of service.

to be his cum slut.
to be his dirty girl.
to be his fantasy.
to be his desire.

That is what makes me tick.

I've missed that in my life.
I am a babygirl. . . but I'm also a woman who desires intense things.

I sleep with panda stuffies but I drink whiskey neat.
I love cuddles and lap hugs but I want to be your slut.
I am all about glitter but I would like a glitter spanking.

I sing a bit louder. My brush strokes a bit bolder.
I live passionately, I dream erotically.

Will you play with my darkside?



I can not ask the moon to be a star

nor ask a little brook 
to turn into a raging sea
it's not for me to say

I can not make you understand 
just what I needed so 
I nearly drowned while on dry land
I could not find my way

an innocent red rose had I 

I tried to hold it in my hand
I loved it so I made it die
you can not hold a rose

a sparrow nested in our tree

I went to see her every day 
autumn called her away from me 
the north wind blows so cold

now time is on your side once more 
you shall forget me presently 
and all such loves as are no more
shall quickly fade away

I am sorry that you had to bear
the brunt of all my sorrowful pain 
this time I almost made it through 
perhaps I will someday

perhaps I will someday.


Cracked Reflection

What is submission. Why do I desire it. Why do I crave domination? If I could choose to be vanilla I would. But I cant that doesn't fulfill me.

recently I've had a couple of frank conversations with people and I have come to realize that I am NOT the same submissive I was several years ago. That in some ways I've lost my . . . I actually don't know what to call it. I've stopped being completely obedient. I guess I've been choosing when to be submissive. Like its a switch that I can turn off and on again.

Somewhere along the way I've lost that piece of me that is truly submissive. I think I can pinpoint where it came from where I lost my way.

It doesn't excuse or change my previous actions of rebellion and non submissive like behavior. Several things happened that created this vacuum inside of me. The only thing I can think of as a visual is a sea anemone where it withdraws and covers up a the first touch. Where I have completely trusted in my past. The trust isn't lost in trusting others. Its trusting myself. That my instincts are sound. That the person I choose to trust is worthy of trust. That he wont break my heart and toss me away or walk away from me as if I mean and have meant nothing too him.

I was completely blindsided. Where my worth and desire as a submissive and woman broke.
Where I questioned my validity of being a submissive. Feeling I gave my all but it still wasn't enough. That my submission was carelessly handled and dropped. Being a loved and cherished submissive for months and months and less than 8 hours after a very intense session being told that " I just was with you because I didn't want to be alone. I don't really love you. "

It cracked something in me. Without knowing or realizing I was broken, I blithely carried on put my big girl panties on and moved on. Or so I thought.

That moment I believe changed me.  It made me trust a little bit less. Love a little more guarded. always keeping a part of me not submissive. being able to have that bit of power to pull away. To say "NO I will not do as you tell me".

I will shatter this mirror that has this cracked reflection. It does not match the truth of my core being. I will remake it to reflect me. 

His Pleasure

Last night.  I might have teased and aroused my Masterly Dom Dom past the point of his resistance.  I may have deliberately worn panties that I know he loves. Ones that accentuates my curvy ass. We had to be quiet. We didn't have the house to ourselves at the moment last night. 

I whispered a few naughty things like I miss your cock Daddy. I want to taste you. Last night was all about pleasing my Daddy. I could feel his arousal. My hand gently cupping him through his jeans. Leaning up kissing him sweetly. Whispering in his ear how much I love him and desire him. 

He growled low "you have done it now baby girl" he sat back on the sofa and motioned for me to kneel between his spread legs. Facing him my lips a mischevious smile. Knowing that we weren't alone in the house. That I could hear my temporary roommate rustling in his room wishing he was sound asleep. I mean it was near midnight. 

I could smell my own heat. My pussy wet with anticipation. He reaches down cupping my breasts through my thin blue t-shirt. Feeling my nipples peak at his touch I moan softly and rest my head on his thigh. looking up at him biting my lower lip I asked: "may I Daddy ?"  He groans softly and growls " Yes baby girl take my cock out" 

His cock sprang free. Aroused and angry looking already weeping pre-cum. My fingertip swipes it from the head of his cock and I quickly suck my fingertip tasting him. Realizing he is now eyes locked on my face and mouth with my fingertip between my lips I smile up at him. 

I lick him. From the tip to the base of his cock. Rising up to my knees. My focus laser sharp due to my arousal and desire to please him. I look up at him through my eyelashes his cock head in my mouth. He murmurs "such a good girl" running his hands over my hair cupping my head and lacing his fingers in my curls. 

Swallowing him retreating swirling my tongue around his cock head. Teasing him. My pierced tongue barbell teasing pressing up against him. Moaning softly quietly with my mouth full of his cock. He grabs my hair more forcefully and starts thrusting up into my mouth. Fucking my mouth not just letting me pleasure him but taking his pleasure in my mouth. 

This makes me even hotter. Wetter feeling the pleasure race down my body. My nipples hard my clit tingling. Loving the taste of him. The feeling of him forcing his cock into my mouth and throat. I love it. Drooling around his cock. Trying to catch my breath he just continues to fuck my mouth. Whispering naughty dirty things. "You love sucking my cock, don't you? " "You're my dirty girl" " I told you I was going to fuck your mouth if you kept teasing me" 

He came. Growling deeply. Feeding me his come. Feeling him pulse and twitch in my mouth. I swallow load after load of cum every spurt. Not wanting to miss a drop. I sit back on my heels. I am panting, a smile on my face as he leans down and kisses my forehead. He pulls me up into his lap and cuddles with me. Whispering words of thanks and pleasure. 

Gives me a stern warning as well. "Not tonight you bad girl. tomorrow you can come. Tomorrow I'll let you masturbate and cum. But not tonight. I warned you "  he chuckles. His laughter deep and gruff. 

Daddy Phrases

Some of the best Daddy phrases
that make a baby girl melt and/or smile


~Who’s in charge?
~Who owns you?
~What did I say?
~Do I make myself clear?
~Do you remember your rules?
~Do you need to be punished?
~What did you just say?
~Are you going to be a good girl?

~Who’s my good girl?
~Who do I love the most?
~How are your stuffies?
~Are you taking care of yourself?
~Have you eaten?
~Have you taken your meds?
~Are you ready for bed?
~Are you snuggled in bed?


~Listen to Daddy
~Don’t disobey Daddy
~Do it for Daddy
~Be a good girl
~Speak up
~Use your words
~Be safe
~Tell Daddy about your day
~Go to bed, princess
~Close your eyes, baby


~Good girl
~You’re such a good girl
~I’m so proud of you!
~You did such a good job!
~I love you so much
~You’re my one and only
~I only want you
~I’m not going anywhere
~I promise
~You’re such a cutie!
~My little girl
~You make me so happy!

Pet Names:

~Baby bear
~Pinkie toe
~Panda girl
~Baby Girl
~Little Girl
~Little One
~My Nerd
~My Dork
~My Girl

pale facsimile

You're an easy man to 
to love.  
being at ease with our conversations  
I find myself alone 
with my thoughts as I start to type.

words escape me. 

All my words are gone. 
because I have realized 
there are no words descriptive 
enough for what I wish to tell you. 

Anything I might say 

would just be a pale facsimile 
of the thoughts I have.

A simple line drawing 
instead of a  bold canvas 
Full of swirling oils and color. 
that bleed and meld 
and create unnamed colors. 
a simple three-note tune 
cannot describe the symphony  
that rattles around in my head 
with my thoughts of you. 

and you are nothing 
if not a bold and strong 
swirl of color in my life.
and the unsung song 
that only I can hear. 


Teach me about our gravity.
I am drawn to you.
take me.
like you grabbed my heart, 

forcefully with your clenched fists.

taste my lips.
as you pull my hips closer.

You are the moon.

even unseen you affect me.

Teach me why the tide
floods the beach at midnight.
waves of passion and desire
Caress me and cover me 
I'm bare and left wanting. 
remind me 
how to breathe 
by making me

Don't love me 
Love me 

Begin Again.

oh.. lord. 

Its been soo very long since I have posted on my blog. 

Life happened. Things changed. Thoughts became too personal to write about them. Experiences, I decided to enjoy them in the moment. I didn't take time to think through them and analyze them.  I started a new blog I thought since it has been so long I should just start a new blog. fresh start. New Memories. but. . . I've decided I would combine my blogs. I have posted several of the posts from another blog on to this blog. So its a bit of a data dump all at the same time. But know that I've written these posts over the past several months not all on one day. 


True Service

My orgasm is no longer mine. 
It belongs to someone. He will choose when and how or if I come at all.

I have given up that control in my life. It is part of my dedication and commitment to my Master. I ask his permission to come. He will either grant it or deny it. 

At times he will give me a directive. To be ready and clean. That I'm his for the taking. That he owns me. My moans, my sighs. My tears of pure happiness are his. 

Why would I do this you ask.. 
Ultimately  this control. .  Its His. He owns the right to the center of what is sacred. My sexual being. My cunt is his. My womb is his. 

It's all mental really. It allows me to have that bit of control for several reasons.  I am submissive. I desire to be found pleasing.  I desire to please. I am owned.  I am commited. I am collared. I am loved. I am his submissive I am his baby girl. 

My desires, my pleasure, my thoughts he has the right to all of it. All of me nothing less than that will do.  
My orgasms and pleasure belonging to someone else. This allows me some control in my life. I control my own body. I do not give in to this darkness that swirls in my stomach. The depraved slut that needs to be fed and fucked regularly. That the actual release when I am granted one is intense and complete. It is not just a simple tension release. Its an earth shattering mind blowing moment. He asks me afterwards always " are you ok baby girl?" The tenderness and the love. 

Being a submissive and the desire to be pleasing and to make Him Happy is a driving desire. 

Knowing that to please him without receiving pleasure is the ultimate gift a submissive can give.

 True Service. And in service of Him. 

My pleasure is solely his to choose or deny. 



The meaning of the word
 changed when he met her. 
Everything changed 
when he met her. 
He knew that he would strip 
this beautiful creature, 
his beautiful creature, 
down to her very soul. 
He would make her raw, 
and rub it in. 
He would hurt her, badly. 
He would imprint himself 
upon her so fully 
and completely 
that no man again 
would rule her just so. 
He knew that he would rebuild 
her in his image, 
stronger, brighter, 
bolder, more free. 
He knew that she
would take every inch, 
pound for pound, 
she would answer him 
with her flesh, and bones. 

He knew. 
she was His.


Bitter Sweet Love

To slap you,
Is to touch you. 
Scream for mercy, 
Beg for more. 

To bite you, 
Is to kiss you.
Tied and Tethered,
On the floor.

To loath you,
Is to love you. 
Pretty princess.
Dirty whore.

- Michael Faudet


His Control

His control

Any Man can grab a girl by the hair throw her on the bed rip her clothes off. He might tie her up. Call her "Bitch" or "Slut" maybe even "Whore" and have rough sex with her.  But that is not dominance.  That is just rough sex in my humble opinion. 

Don't get me wrong there is a time and place for that too. . . maybe even spankings and that hurt so good sex.  That type of rough sex i might even call it violent sex. If the girl is into it , it can be fun.  But that's not still true Dominance. 

His control over me is true dominance. Its when he whispers softly in my ear.  He sits in his chair and observes me methodically remove each piece of clothing. One piece at a time.  He watches as I slowly kneel in front of him. Offering my whole self  to him. I willingly without hesitation or reservation do this. Not because he demands it but because my desire to please him is greater than any moment of fear, any doubt or any shyness. My drive to please to be found pleasing leaves no room for shame or embarrassment

It is then and only then . . . That He knows as I know. There is nothing that makes me happier than making him happy. 

I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My Choices my heartbreaks, my regrets, Everything. And when we are together, my Past seems worth it.  Because if I had done one thing differently I might not be here at your feet today. 

He found me when I was lost. 

He doesn't bully me he treasures me.
He doesn't  hurt me he protects me. 
He doesn't belittle me he respects me.
He doesn't humiliate me. he takes care of me.
He doesn't try to change me he guides me. 

He didn't demand my submission, 
but he has it completely.